How to Deal With a Coworker Who Betrays You

How to Deal With a Coworker Who Betrays You
Share This Post

Betrayal is commonplace in the workplace. Coworkers frequently betray one another in private, whether through slander or office politics. People in these situations may even resort to stealing from coworkers or spreading falsehoods about them.

The pain of betrayal is real. Moreover, it may seem hopeless to provide forgiveness at certain points. Of course, sometimes, it is obligatory to forgive.

The act of forgiving another person might have negative effects on one’s psyche. Try to take a step back and look at things from a more detached perspective. After that, educate yourself on how to respond to a betraying coworker.

This article will examine what happens when someone in your work betrays you. We’ll also look at some tips on how to handle the aftermath.

Land More Interviews With A Professional Resume

Get a professional resume review from a certified career expert

1. Put yourself in their shoes.

Perhaps you’ve been betrayed by a coworker who has been spreading rumors about you behind your back. Your heart sinks as you think about all those who know about this. It seems like everyone knows except for you!

To understand why they did this, put yourself in their shoes. Imagine all the reasons why you would do something like this. What are they trying to gain? Why do they want to hurt you?

You might realize that there are several possible explanations. For instance, maybe they don’t care about you. Maybe they’re jealous. Or perhaps they feel threatened because you’re getting ahead of them.

If you can figure out why they behaved this way, you’ll better understand why they did it. Once you know why they acted that way, you’ll be less likely to get angry with them.

2. Ensure You Have All the Information

It’s important to ensure you have all the facts before responding to a coworker who has betrayed you. If you don’t, you could end up making things worse.

For example, if you find out about an affair between two coworkers, you should try not to say anything until you have all the facts. This includes any information you may have heard from other sources.

Once you have all the facts, you can decide if you need to confront them. However, if you choose to speak to them, you must be careful not to overreact. You should remain calm and collected.

Remember that you aren’t responsible for anyone else’s actions. Even though you were betrayed, you still shouldn’t blame yourself.

3. Try to keep your cool.

You might find yourself saying things you don’t mean when you are angry. This could lead to hurt feelings and resentment. If you try to talk about what’s bothering you, your partner might become defensive or even withdraw.

This is because people tend to react defensively when they feel threatened. So if you lash out, you’ll probably push your loved one away.

Instead of reacting to conflict with hostility, try to remain calm. You can do this by taking deep breaths, counting slowly to 10, or repeating positive affirmations such as “I am safe,” “My family loves me,” and “I choose love.”

You can also use mindfulness techniques. For example, focus on the present moment rather than letting thoughts drift into the future or the past. Try to notice physical sensations, such as breathing deeply or concentrating on the sensation of holding your hand.

In some cases, it may help to write down your feelings. Then, take a break and come back to the conversation later. When you return, you might feel less frustrated and more able to express yourself calmly.

4. Make an effort to create fresh happy experiences.

One way to deal with betrayal is to replace negative emotions with positive ones. For example, you could find ways to enjoy life instead of feeling upset about being lied to.

Think about how you can turn a bad situation into a good one. For example, if someone lies to you, you can tell them that you forgive them. By doing so, you will be showing them that you value their friendship.

Another option is to think about the benefits that will result from your relationship improving. For example, you might remind yourself that having a strong marriage is worth the effort. Or you might realize that you want to spend more time together.

Finally, you can think about how you can improve your behavior. For instance, you might decide to be honest in the future.

If you’re willing to change your behavior, you might be surprised at how much easier it becomes to handle conflicts with your spouse or significant other.

5. Pay attention to what he or she is saying.

Even though you know something is wrong, you may feel uncomfortable confronting your coworkers. But it’s important to listen before responding to what they have to say.

If you ignore their words, you risk losing credibility. And if you act too quickly, you might make matters worse. Instead, wait until you’ve gathered enough information.

Then, respond appropriately. For example, you could ask questions, give advice, or apologize. You might also explain why you reacted the way you did.

Remember to thank your coworker for sharing their point of view. Doing so shows respect for others, which often leads to better relationships.

Also, remember that not all disagreements need to be resolved right now. Sometimes waiting a few days or weeks is best. That gives both parties time to cool off and think about the issue.

Finally, if you are dealing with a coworker who has betrayed you, don’t let them get away with it. If you see them again, call them out on their wrongdoing. Don’t let anyone walk over you.

6. Communicate your concern to let them know you are wounded.

Sometimes people will try to avoid conflict by denying that anything happened. This is especially true when the person involved doesn’t seem bothered.

For example, if you suspect someone is lying to you, you should confront them directly. However, there are times when this is impossible.

When that happens, you can still show your frustration. For example, you can send an email saying: “I’m very disappointed that you told me I was wrong. It hurts my feelings.”

You might also talk to your boss. Tell them that you were misled. Asking for clarification is another way to show your anger.

However, you shouldn’t use these methods as a threat. For example, saying, “I won’t quit unless you fire this guy,” is inappropriate because it implies that you’ll leave your job if your demands aren’t met.

Instead, focus on expressing your emotions. Letting your boss know how you feel will help you get through the situation.

Also, consider writing down your concerns. Then, put them in a letter. Send the letter to the person involved.

In addition, you might make copies of any documents that prove your case. Finally, keep a record of the events. That way, you can refer back to the evidence later.

7. If you want to restore your relationship with someone, you must forgive them.

Some people find it hard to forgive others when they’ve been mistreated. But forgiveness can lead to a healthier workplace.

Forgiving someone means letting go of resentment and bitterness. It also helps you move forward and look toward the future.

To do this, start by talking to your coworker. Explain why you feel upset. Ask them to apologize.

If they refuse, then tell your supervisor what’s going on. Your manager may have some ideas to suggest.

If your coworker accepts responsibility, then say thanks. Also, express gratitude for whatever actions they took to correct the problem.

And finally, let things go. Remember, forgiving someone doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. Rather, it simply means moving on.

8. You must earn their trust by reconnecting.

Trust is important at work. It allows coworkers to share information freely without worrying about being judged.

Unfortunately, many people need more trust in their jobs. They’re suspicious of other employees’ motives. Or they believe that everyone around them is trying to take advantage of them.

This attitude makes it difficult to build relationships. So, if you want to restore trust, treat everyone fairly.

For instance, don’t gossip or lie. And never criticize anyone behind their back.

Also, be honest. Don’t exaggerate or deceive. If you need help, ask for it. In return, give good advice.

Finally, show respect for others. When you speak up, say please and thank you. Show appreciation for your colleagues.

9. Focus on Self-care.

Betrayal is a lot. And it affects you mentally, physically, and emotionally. It’s stressful, and your brain releases cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine stress hormones if your body gets stressed.

These hormones can cause tension headaches, raise your heart rate, make your muscles tense up, and drain you emotionally.

When we’re feeling overwhelmed, our bodies release chemicals like dopamine and serotonin, which give us pleasure and comfort. But when we feel betrayed, we experience the opposite: anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety.

The best way to deal with betrayal is to slow down, breathe deeply, and care for ourselves. We recommend taking a break, exercising, eating well, sleeping, and finding ways to calm our minds and hearts.

Land More Interviews With A Professional Resume

Get a professional resume review from a certified career expert

10. Fight Back.

Once you realize you are being treated unfairly, your next step is to make sure you are aware of how you are being mistreated. Write down everything you think about the person who betrayed you, including the specific behaviors that upset you. This list can later serve as evidence of the unfair treatment you experienced.

Next, figure out what you want to do about it. Do you want to confront your abuser? Try to talk to them directly, or perhaps write a letter explaining why you aren’t happy with their behavior. Or maybe you want to move forward without them. Either way, you must decide what you want to do to protect yourself and your interests.

Finally, start doing it once you have figured out what you will do. You might say, “I’m going to tell my boss I won’t work overtime anymore.” But if you mean it, follow up with actions, such as calling your boss and saying, “I’d like to discuss working fewer hours.”


If someone has wronged you, it’s best to wait before responding. Never forget that it’s okay to seek assistance. Remember, too, that you are worthy of far more than this. Act responsibly by putting barriers in place to prevent further abuse from occurring.

It will be difficult, but you must try to put your hurt and anger behind you. But with the right attitude and some effort, it is possible to overcome this hurdle in your career.

To mend fences and restore confidence, use the advice above. Furthermore, our staff of professional writers is available to assist you in developing a new resume that effectively presents your experience, skills, and achievements. Interested parties are encouraged to get in touch with us immediately.

Is Your Resume Working?

Get a professional resume review from a certified career expert

Is your resume getting ignored?

Land more interviews and get hired faster with a professional resume written by career experts.


Resume + Cover Letter

$ 199
  • Professionally written resume - By experts that know your industry
  • Formatted for success - Formatting that will get an employer's attention.
  • Keyword optimized - Your resume will be optimized to pass through Applicant Tracking Systems.
  • Collaborate with writer - Work directly with your resume writer for a personalized experience
  • Cover Letter - Employers are 40% more likely to read a resume with a cover letter.

Contact Us

Contact us if you have any questions

Monday - Friday, (9am - 5pm EST)


Priority Support


(786) 474 - 6976