How to Deal With a Boss That Talks Behind your Back

How to Deal With a Boss That Talks Behind your Back
Share This Post

You might be astonished to learn that some people engage in office gossip without even realizing it. Some might think it’s fine to spread rumors about coworkers behind their backs. In actuality, doing so is frowned upon as unethical and unprofessional.

Spreading rumors about your coworkers is never a good idea. Seemingly innocuous behavior can have serious consequences for your professional standing. People who propagate false information about you are likely unreliable and disrespected. If you meet with a significant other, employer, or client, it’s best to keep things professional and away from gossip.

Adverse comments about a coworker or employee should never be made in front of that person. This encompasses interactions by phone, email, and social media. To boost a coworker’s productivity, you should only tell them good things about themselves.

What, though, if your manager gossips about you? This is a common occurrence. There’s a chance that your manager will talk behind you about who you are and how you operate. You should investigate the cause of this occurrence if it is occurring at work. If your supervisor is a gossip, addressing the situation head-on is your best bet.

This article offers advice on how to handle the situation to help you cope with a boss who gossips about you. In addition, we’ll discuss strategies for responding to constructive criticism from management.

Land More Interviews With A Professional Resume

Get a professional resume review from a certified career expert

1. Be Straightforward.

If you think that what you heard your boss say is bad news for your career, you should address the issue head-on. You never know where things might go from there.

Knowing what your boss said could cost you your job, so think twice before spilling the beans. He probably isn’t ready to give you up just yet. Make sure you’ve thought things through thoroughly before you raise your hand.

You may find yourself in a situation where you must confront your boss face-to-face. This is a delicate conversation because you don’t want to seem like you’re attacking him. Instead, try to come across as straightforward and honest.

In addition, keep this discussion private and out of earshot of others. Make sure you’ve got a good reason for bringing this up. Consider whether it’s appropriate before blurting out something.

2. Verify Information.

Before speaking with your boss, verify any information that you hear. It’s possible that someone else told your boss something negative about you. If this is the case, you must figure out which was wrong.

It’s important to get some proof before talking with your boss. You might ask your coworker or another colleague to confirm what they said. You may also check your company’s policy regarding workplace gossip.

3. Shut the Gossip Down.

If your boss spreads rumors about you, you’ll want to shut the gossip down. Your first step is to let him know that you heard something. You can do this through an email or in-person conversation.

Next, you should take steps to prevent the further spread of misinformation. You can start by asking your boss not to repeat what he said. If he refuses, you should end the conversation.

However, if your boss does apologize for what he said, you should accept his apology. Even if you were right and he was wrong, it’s better to move forward than to remain bitter.

4. Recognize That You’re Facing a Bully.

Some bosses use gossiping as a way to intimidate their subordinates. When you discover that your boss is using gossip against you, it’s time to identify that you’re dealing with a bully.

A bully will often target people who aren’t strong enough to fight back. As such, bullies will usually pick on people who appear weak. They may even attack those with disabilities or mental health issues.

Bully bosses are likely to criticize employees in front of other workers. They may also retaliate against anyone who stands up to them.

You should talk to your supervisor if you believe you’re being bullied at work. Tell your boss that you feel uncomfortable working under these conditions. The best outcome would be that your boss agrees to change the environment.

If your boss doesn’t listen, consider filing a complaint with human resources.

5. Consult the HR Department.

The Human Resources department ensures that employees feel comfortable working in an organization. This includes ensuring that no harassment or discrimination occurs within the office. However, when something happens, it is important to know how to handle the situation. You want to keep things from festering, which could lead to problems later.

If your boss is creating a toxic work environment, you need to talk with someone in HR. They can give you some advice about what to do next. They may even be able to suggest ways to address the problem directly. For example, they might say you should talk to your manager about the issue. In most cases, a conversation with HR will go nowhere. However, it could lead to your boss being reprimanded.

In some situations, talking to HR will get back to the person causing the trouble. You’ll have to keep quiet or report the behavior in those cases. If you choose to speak up, you’ll have to explain yourself clearly. Don’t blame others for the situation; try to take responsibility for your actions. Your goal is to show that you’re willing to change.

6. Determine How Far the Rumor is Spreading.

You should always assume that rumors are spreading about you. Your boss may have told coworkers about what happened between you two.

When this happens, you should know exactly where the rumor originated. If it came from your boss, you should confront him directly. However, if the rumor started elsewhere, you should ask those individuals to stop spreading false information.

By doing so, you can head off any further damage to your reputation. If you don’t stand up for yourself, you risk letting your boss spread lies about you.

If you suspect your boss is spreading malicious rumors about you, you should consider looking for another job. There are plenty of companies that offer great opportunities. You should avoid constantly bullying just because you like your current position.

7. Keep the Emotion at Bay.

Bullying bosses are often very manipulative people. They may use their power to make you miserable. As a result, you may feel angry and upset all the time.

You should try to stay calm if you feel overwhelmed by your emotions. Otherwise, you could end up losing control over the situation. This could cause you to lash out at your boss. You don’t want that to happen. Instead, you should focus on controlling your anger.

It’s also important not to act impulsively. You should think carefully before responding to any comments made by your boss. Even though he may have been rude to you, you don’t want to respond in kind. You should instead wait until you’ve had a chance to cool down.

This doesn’t mean that you should ignore everything your boss says. After all, you still need to follow his orders. But you should try to avoid reacting emotionally whenever possible.

8. Request a Departmental Switch.

There are times when a bully boss isn’t going to stop harassing you. At that point, you should look into other options. One possibility is to ask for a transfer.

You might be surprised to learn that many jobs are available within the company. So, you could move to a different department. This way, you’d never have to see your tormentor again.

However, you must do more than request a transfer. You have to convince your boss that it’s necessary. To do that, you should provide details about why you would benefit from the change.

For example, you could tell him you’re interested in learning new skills. Or you’d prefer to work in a different location? By showing how you’d benefit from the switch, you’ll help your case.

Of course, you should only apply for a transfer if you truly want one. You want to save your boss’ time and yours. In addition, you don’t want him to think you’re trying to get away from him.

So, you should only apply if you believe the change will benefit both of you. Your goal should be to keep things professional.

Land More Interviews With A Professional Resume

Get a professional resume review from a certified career expert

9. Keep a Record of All Events.

You want to take advantage of everything. You’re always looking forward to what’s next. But sometimes, little things happen around work that isn’t necessarily important. They might seem like nothing at the time, but over time, they add up. And if you don’t keep a record of them, you’ll never know exactly how much damage they’ve done.

For example, let’s say your manager keeps sharing rumors about you behind your back. He says some negative stuff about you, and he does it often enough that you start to believe him. Then one day, someone else tells you something similar. If you didn’t write down what he said, you wouldn’t even realize that he’d been spreading lies about you. So you could end up believing those lies yourself.

Now imagine if you had a way to track everything around work. You could see exactly how often your manager spreads gossip about you. You could find out whether people are talking about you behind your back and why. You could determine whether you’re getting better or worse reviews and why.

So make sure you record every occasion where your boss talks negatively about you. Write down what he says and when he says it. Remember to include his tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions. This way, you’ll know exactly what’s happening, and you won’t ever be surprised again.


Keeping your cool in the face of a bully employer is the wisest action. Dealing with someone who treats you horribly can be challenging, especially if you feel helpless. Even though he’s being rude, you shouldn’t give up. As an alternative, you should search for trends indicating impending trouble.

Ignoring his constant criticism of you is not an option. Make it clear that you cannot relax in this setting and request a private moment with him. The next step is to state your reasons for leaving. Lastly, offer to assist him in recruiting a replacement worker.

If you’re having trouble with a difficult boss, our professional resume writers can help. Get the job you want with the help of our professional resume writers.

Is Your Resume Working?

Get a professional resume review from a certified career expert

Is your resume getting ignored?

Land more interviews and get hired faster with a professional resume written by career experts.


Resume + Cover Letter

$ 199
  • Professionally written resume - By experts that know your industry
  • Formatted for success - Formatting that will get an employer's attention.
  • Keyword optimized - Your resume will be optimized to pass through Applicant Tracking Systems.
  • Collaborate with writer - Work directly with your resume writer for a personalized experience
  • Cover Letter - Employers are 40% more likely to read a resume with a cover letter.

Contact Us

Contact us if you have any questions

Monday - Friday, (9am - 5pm EST)


Priority Support


(786) 474 - 6976