How to Deal With a Boss That Hates You

How to Deal With a Boss That Hates You
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Competition between coworkers is nothing new. Workers need to set aside their emotions and concentrate on their work if they want to achieve success. Sadly, not all supervisors see that as a valid point of view. They’d be cruel to their subordinates out of hatred toward their superiors.

Having a toxic superior might make you feel dissatisfied and irritated. If you’re already feeling pressured at work because of something else, this won’t help. Don’t let your feelings get the best of you; instead, strive to think things out logically. Determine the cause of their antipathy. The next step is to brainstorm ways to repair the damage to your connection.

This article will discuss how to deal with a boss who hates you. We will also give you tips on improving your relationships with coworkers and superiors.

That someone is unpleasant or harsh to you should not be seen as proof that they have anything against you. They may have to do so occasionally because it’s expected of them in their work.

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1. Don’t try too hard.

When dealing with an unkind supervisor, your first instinct may be to try harder. This could backfire. Do not attempt to please them. Instead, focus on your own goals. When they see that you are doing your job well, he or they will eventually change their behavior.

If you must speak up about a problem, do it sparingly. Try to find a way to talk to them privately. Afterward, apologize sincerely for upsetting them. In some cases, such as if you’ve been rude, you can ask for forgiveness. However, if the offense was unintentional, you shouldn’t expect any apology unless you are willing to accept one.

If you suspect your subordinate has made mistakes, explain what needs to be done. Let them know that you’ll take care of it. Do not criticize them publicly. Doing so will only result in your being labeled as “the bad guy.”

2. Don’t play the victim.

It is easy to blame others for our problems. Unfortunately, this only sometimes solves something. Rather than blaming others, try to figure out why you are experiencing difficulties.

For example, suppose you are having trouble getting along with your boss. Are they simply a jerk? Or are there other factors involved? Perhaps your boss’s personality clashes with yours. Maybe they are a perfectionist who expects you to meet impossible standards.

Regardless of the reason, you need to determine whether you can live with the situation. If you can’t, then you need to consider finding another job. On the other hand, if you can, you need to look into ways to improve your relationship.

You may need help to change your boss completely. But you can certainly learn from your experiences.

3. Practice Empathy.

You should begin by considering the demands your manager is under from the outside world. Most managers aren’t awful people, but they may lack particular abilities or expertise that leave their teams or themselves subject to stress and burnout.

Remember that most bad bosses aren’t inherently evil; they’re just good people who’ve been put in positions where they feel compelled to take charge and provide leadership.

However, because of their lack of experience, they often fail to appreciate the importance of putting aside their wants and needs to fulfill their job responsibilities.

So, it’s crucial to consider their actions’ context and motivations. Empathy training, or the ability to put oneself in another’s shoes, can be a game-changer in fraught situations between superiors and subordinates, as has been repeatedly demonstrated in academic studies.

4. Modify expectations.

Your boss might not want to be your friend. They might not even like you. But it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to fail. You can do one thing to avoid being disappointed by your boss: modify your expectations.

As much as we’d love our bosses to be our best friends forever, the truth is that most of us don’t work with someone we’ll see every day for decades. And while we might think we know what makes a good relationship, research suggests that we often overestimate how important personality traits are in determining whether we become close friends.

In a study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers found that people tend to believe that personality traits such as agreeableness and conscientiousness predict friendship outcomes better than they do. This leads to unrealistic expectations about how well friendships will go — and ultimately, disappointment when those relationships end.

The takeaway: Don’t set yourself up for failure by expecting too much from your boss. Instead, focus on building positive rapport and making them feel valued. If you do that, you’ve got a shot at having a successful working relationship.

5. Others can provide you with a reality check.

If you feel you’re being targeted unfairly, it might be because you’ve been doing something wrong. You could be getting a reputation for poor performance or being misunderstood. Either way, it’s important to know what’s happening.

The problem is that people tend to assume that managers hate them, and that’s why they’re being punished. But it only sometimes works that way. Sometimes, managers need to understand why certain behaviors occur. They may even see things that aren’t there. So, if you suspect you’re being singled out, here’s what you can do about it.

Ask someone else to talk to you. This person should be someone you trust, such as a coworker or supervisor. Ask them to give you feedback on whether you’re being treated fairly. If they say yes, ask them where you went wrong. Then, take action based on their advice.

6. Communicate directly and diplomatically.

Sometimes, a direct approach works best. It can help you get past misunderstandings and clear the air quickly. For example, if your manager seems unhappy with your work, you might say something like this: “I noticed that I wasn’t meeting my goals. Can we talk about what happened?” You might also use phrases like, “I was wondering if we could have a conversation about…” or “We need to discuss….”

You should expect to avoid resolving any problems that arise during these conversations. However, it’s worth addressing issues head-on so you can move forward.

7. Be proactive.

If you notice that your manager isn’t treating you kindly, you can still make an effort to improve your situation. For instance, suggest they assign you more challenging tasks or ask for a raise. These suggestions will only sometimes be accepted, but they can be helpful.

However, you might consider changing jobs if you’re dealing with a difficult boss who refuses to acknowledge their mistakes. Although this decision may seem drastic, sometimes you have no other choice.

8. Apologize.

Maybe you’ve done something that has offended your boss. Or perhaps you still need to meet all of their standards. In either case, you need to apologize.

Try saying something like this: “I’m sorry if I did anything to upset you.” Your apology needs to be sincere, though. And if you’ve already apologized, don’t bring it up again. Remember that the goal is not to win back your manager’s favor; it’s to repair the damage that has already occurred.

Your boss might not want to hear your concerns, but they will respect you if you speak up. Even if you think your complaints will go nowhere, you must let them know how you feel. Letting your boss know you’re worried about your job can be scary, but it’s important.

It’s important to remember that you can’t change your manager’s behavior by complaining. Instead, you need to focus on yourself. You may find another opportunity at your company. You may look into other companies. Either way, you’ll feel better once you’ve taken steps toward improving your situation.

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8. Find common ground

Some bosses are just hard to deal with. But there are ways to build relationships with them. Try asking questions that show interest. For instance, you could ask about their family life, hobbies, or favorite movies. Doing so shows that you care and are interested in learning more about them.

Another good tactic is to offer to do favors for your boss. If you notice that your boss doesn’t seem happy, you could submit complete some paperwork for them. This type of gesture shows that you value your relationship with your manager. It demonstrates that you’re willing to put in extra time to meet their expectations.

Remember to thank your boss when they do something nice for you. A simple “thank you” can mean a lot to someone working long hours.


No matter what happens, you should always be positive in your interactions with your boss. After all, you want to get along with your colleagues as much as possible. So even if things could be better between you and your manager, try to maintain a healthy work environment.

But it’s time to take action if you’ve been stuck in a job with a boss that hates you. Follow the tips above and make a change for the better.

And if you need help crafting the perfect resume to get you out of there, contact our expert resume writers. We know exactly what to say (and not say) to ensure your qualifications shine through. So don’t wait – start searching for your dream job today!

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